Love story of redemption

I don't do this often, if I've even ever done it, but I was kind of chuffed with a recent sermon of mine, and seeing as some (though very few) have asked to read it, I thought to post it up here.

Christmas Day 2021

A week or two ago, I saw on Twitter that there was a radio adaptation of one of my favourite books, Howl's Moving Castle, so one evening when I was too tired to even watch television, I got a hot water bottle, a blanket, and a cup of tea, and I just listened to the story. It was a lovely hour, and afterwards I said to my partner, “I don't really know why I love this book so much”, and his instant response was, “love story of redemption”. And I was just stunned, first by how well he knows me and as I will explore, being truly known is a cornerstone of love, but second by the totemic and fundamental nature of that phrase. Love story of redemption. That’s an integral understanding of our faith. That's four words that sum up the gospel. And from an agnostic!

So if you don’t know it, Howl's Moving Castle is a fantasy novel about Sophie Hatter, a young woman full of grace and truth who has an astonishing power – her words can breathe life into the world. She inadvertently speaks spells over the hats she makes, and draws the attention of the villain, The Witch of the Waste, an incredibly vain woman who has given her heart to a fallen star in exchange for power, and who is threatened by Sophie’s magic. She curses Sophie to appear to be an old woman.

Sophie doesn’t think it’s too bad, but it does mean she has to leave, as she can’t tell her family about the curse, and they won’t recognise her. Once she heads off, she ends up at the titular moving castle, which floats over the hills around her town. She enters and finds Michael who is the apprentice to the castle’s owner, the Wizard Howl, and she also meets Calcifer, a fire creature stuck in service to Howl in a contract that Calcifer persuades Sophie to figure out and break. He promises in exchange to lift her curse that he has been able to recognise. When Howl turns up, he accepts Sophie as a live-in housekeeper, and she starts to get to know him.

Howl thinks he is literally king of the castle, but really he’s a mess. He’s overdramatic, spends hours getting ready in the bathroom, and he pursues young women until they fall in love with him, at which point he scarpers. Sophie describes him thus: “he's fickle, careless, selfish, and hysterical. Half the time I think he doesn't care what happens to anyone as long as he’s alright but then I find out how awfully kind he's been to someone. Then I think he's kind just when it suits him, only then I find out he undercharges poor people. I don't know, he's a mess.” A prophetic moment is when Michael says that he'll know when Howl is truly in love when Howl doesn't bother to primp and preen before going out.

Now here come some spoilers, but luckily I can’t possibly sum up the whole book, because there’s a whole series of storylines that all wrap up together at the end, so please, do read it if you haven’t already. Sophie realises she’s fallen in love with Howl, but resigns herself to being invisible to him. The Witch of the Waste wants the punish Howl because she is one of the women he dumped, and so sets up an elaborate trap. Sophie falls for it, thinking there’s an innocent woman to save, and in an act of sacrifice for Howl, Sophie is captured in the Waste. Howl comes tearing across the country to save her, unshaven, clothes a mess, dirty and dishevelled, his complete focus on Sophie causing him to ignore his own appearance. Sophie finally works out that Calcifer is a fallen star who has Howl’s heart to stay alive, so she takes Howl’s heart from Calcifer, a heart blackened and shrivelled, and breathes new life into Calcifer, before putting Howl’s heart back in his flesh and dispelling its darkness. She finds she has been transformed back to a young woman, and it turns out that Howl has been falling in love with her in return. They defeat all the baddies, Calcifer decides to stay, and the three of them with Michael become a happy little family.

So. It’s a love story of redemption. What I see is relationship, existence, and identity. What I see is the Christmas story, at least from the cosmic perspective, from the perspective of John’s gospel. It’s not a huge surprise as the author, Dianna Wynne Jones, attended lectures at Oxford by both JRR Tolkien, and CS Lewis.

Relationship, existence and identity, exactly that I see in the John reading. It's all there. How do you know love? How do you see it? How do you choose it?

The villain is ego, diverting our resources towards power and control, and making snap judgements based on appearances and fear, manipulating the world with aggression and duplicity.

The hero is unassuming, devoted, kind, compassionate, and very brave. Words, which are both rational and creative, see through the dazzle and the lies. The truth is brought to light, and life is breathed into the world, where even the wastelands would break forth into song. To persist, to see, and know, and love, that is what wins, a sacrifice that might not be requited. That is what leads to a tidy home, the end of evil, and a disparate household that becomes a united family.

The protagonist – look, I’m afraid in this analogy, we’re the wizard, humanity is Howl. On his own, he is an absolute mess, without eyes to see, not living a true life. His heart is confined by bad habits and destructive ways of thinking. He resists love at first sight, even at second and third. He needs light to see and truth to know. And he can’t do it on his own. It is only when he begins to take responsibility that he runs towards what is good for him, that he devotes himself to the right relationship, not power, that he starts to leave behind that which was sucking the life out of him. It is only when he is honest about his need for the one who loves him that he starts to participate in the work that will truly redeem both himself and his world. 

But even once he has made the right choice, it is the one who is the word of life who must give him his new heart, his new flesh, the ability to love truly. She came to him, to be with him, and she saw him, the truth of him, and she loved him. Being known, truly, is a cornerstone of love. He was blind at first, but then he saw, he chose, he changed, and no longer king of the castle, he became hers. The relationship shifted, deepened, and his heart newly recreated beat with intimate access to the cosmic reality that is true love.

Relationship is our purpose, the ability to love truly.

Existence means nothing with power, but everything with love.

Identity is dynamic, chosen and given, seeing and knowing and devoting.

God sees us, and knows us, and sought us out even as we built our illusions and castles in a world forlorn. God persisted, even as we did not know him, born in a backwater, little tiny heart beating for the world in his little tiny chest. He loved us into existence, his purpose in being born was to invite us into relationship, and in choosing love he gives us our identity, he gives us a heart of flesh, the gift of true love. A love story of redemption

Towards Ordained Ministry course: Session One

A few nights ago I went to the first session of the London Diocese’s ‘Towards Ordained Ministry’ course. DDOs and college chaplains in the diocese refer candidates and potential candidates to this every year; it is another tool within the resources for discernment, but it lies in that in-between world of not quite being BAP prep but also being more intentional and sure than initial exploration events. Talks are based on the vows in the Ordinal in the context of ‘Pursuing your Vocation in the Diocese of London’.

This is how they put it:

“Here is a great opportunity

-to explore and learn more of your vocation to the ordained ministry

-to get to know others from different traditions than your own

-to hear speakers who themselves have been along this road

-to share in discussion and prayer”

I’ve got to be honest, it’s the first time I’ve felt positive about the Diocese’ vocation resources; it’s such a shame that they don’t manage to support people earlier in the process as well as this course supports people who are further along.

Anyway, the first session was a corker. The theme was Authority, based on the vow to “accept the discipline of this Church and give due respect to those in authority” and we were honoured to be addressed by The Rt Revd and Rt Hon Dr Richard Chartres, outgoing Bishop of London.

All my experiences of Bishop Richard – my confirmation, a drinks reception at his residence, several Easter Vigil services at St Paul’s – have confirmed his reputation as a wise and caring yet competent man, and this session was no exception. It was a privilege to hear him speak, with eloquence, wisdom and humility, and a smattering of humour, as well as get a chance to talk to him in the relaxed mingling beforehand. He asked where I had come from and when I said St Martin’s, his follow-up was “Ah, which part of the empire?” which shows you a little of our reputation within the city.

I knew one other pastoral assistant there, from our Area PA support group, and he and I chatted with three girls sitting next to us, two from slightly higher churches and one from a very much lower church.

He spoke for about an hour, so I’m going to just summarise my notes, but I didn’t write everything down, just the things that struck me, though hopefully I’ll be able to convey a flavour of his talk.

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In his introduction, he talked of balancing a need to ‘listen profoundly to colleagues’ whilst also being aware of the danger that ‘heavy structure’ (like endless committees) can be a huge ‘energy drainer’.

1.

His talk was then structured in three parts. The first was the root of being ‘one holy, catholic, and apostolic church’, and the importance of the Church of England’s identity as part of its authority. We have never denied that there are other parts of the ‘1HCAC’ and often, if not quite adapted to, at least encouraged local expression of faith (subtext being: remember we’re not Catholics, homogenising and exclusivist).

Ecumenism is now framed in a context of looking forward to the ‘great and coming’ church of the Kingdom, but the CofE has the privilege of being able to reach in any direction and touch the whole spectrum of ‘church’.

One of my favourite points he made was that the clergy must not just be collaborative, but instead ‘conjunctive’, not just making joint-efforts but genuinely joining and combining. Because we are fundamentally and intentionally not sectarian, we must look for allies in the mission on the ‘shared passion’ simply for the Lord Jesus Christ.

2.

An ‘assent on worship’. This was an interesting section which touched on the fundamental difference between Christian and Muslim understandings of God. Whilst in Islam they submit to a Supreme Will, Christians reach out to an Almighty Love. The key is the transforming truth of the Trinity, for our communion is not static but dynamic, as God’s true nature is. From ‘Adam where are you?’ through ‘Samuel! Samuel!’ through ‘Mary!’ to the climax of the Incarnation itself, it is into dynamic relationship that we are called. Bishop Richard advocated the BCP as a ‘balanced and simple diet of scripture-based worship’...

3.

…which led nicely into the authority of scripture and the creeds. A wonderful phrase he used about

scripture was the importance of ‘hearing the whole symphony’ rather than extracting ‘bleeding gobbets’ to rely on and 'bash each other over the head' with. ‘Spacious inhabiting of scripture’ is important, within a ‘community of interpretation’. Crucially this includes the writers of the Creeds, that though long-dead, using the Creeds is a way of reading scripture not just with our contemporaries but also our predecessors, who deserve as much respectful deep listening as anyone alive now.

This leads us into being able to, as Common Worship puts it ‘proclaim [the faith] afresh in each generation’. Bishop Richard emphasised the importance of having a presence on modern platforms, and inhabiting the ‘territory of the 92%’ ie. the population of London that does not engage in Christianity. He advocated creativity as crucial to success in this.

After his talk, there was a time for questions. The first was ‘When did you discover your vocation?’ and his immediate response was ‘After I was ordained’. He explained that it was only once he was a deacon working in a parish that he found his vocation in doing the ‘ordinary work and being admitted to the tragedy behind every face’. He also pointed out that it was necessary to have healthy distance between the role and your own person – do not assimilate.

He also returned to ecumenism, which he said works when we look to the whole community and as conjunctive allies, looking in that same direction together. He warned of the trouble in the future (that we will inherit as the next generation of clergy) and condemned schism as ‘obstinately metaphysical’ especially in the context that for the under 30s, church is becoming ‘post-denominational’. He went on to lament the ‘ignorance of Christian grammar’ in the country.

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Future sessions will be:

- The Bible - Do you accept the holy Scriptures as revealing all things necessary for eternal salvation through faith in Jesus Christ?

- Doctrine - Do you believe the doctrine of the Christian faith as the Church of England has received it, and in your ministry will you expound and teach it?

- Ministry - Will you be a faithful servant in the household of God, after the example of Christ, who came not to be served but to serve?

- Spirituality - Will you be diligent in prayer, in reading holy Scripture, and in all studies that will deepen your faith, and fit you to bear witness to the truth of the Gospel?

- Mission - Will you lead Christ’s people in proclaiming his glorious gospel, so that the good news of salvation may be heard in every place?

Going Further: the heart of my faith = sharing the good news?

See this post for an intro to this series.

What is the heart of [the candidate's] faith: the good news they would wish to share with others? 

This is a very well-timed post to write considering my recent conversation with the rector about her reservations concerning my faith - what my relationship with God looks like, and how I express it to others.

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So turning to the question, my immediate response is the heart of my faith is a trust in God, and the the good news I wish to share with others is that they can trust God too. God is for everyone. That doesn't mean everyone should be Christian, be religious, or even put Jesus at the centre of their lives. Jesus is the good news but the Messiah, the Son of God, the Word Made Flesh is so much more than the bloke from Nazareth.

Jesus embodies the right ordering of creation, that God and humankind are in harmonious relationship. That is the good news, that is what Jesus being born into the world and fulfilling the Law shows us. God is for everyone because everyone should have a relationship with God. I like John's gospel best, even though it is dense as a jungle and a bit mind-bendy, because of the emphasis on the Spirit and that beautiful prologue about the Word. To have a relationship with God through Jesus is to know the Word by the power of the Spirit, and I don't think that necessarily means knowing the bloke from Nazareth.

I think our mission is to spread the Word, and the Word is however God best has a relationship with each person. Our Word, our story is a unique back and forth between each of us and God. Sure, I think the Christian church and being a follower of Jesus of Nazareth is probably the best road for the majority of people. But the 'majority' of all humankind that has lived, is living, and will live, still leaves a whopping number of people who are the minority (the minority of a massive number is still a big number).

I like the 'many paths on the mountain' pluralism metaphor. If God is the destination, the top of the mountain, there are many ways up the mountain. There are lots of places to start from, there are paths that intersect, and cross, and converge at points. And the top is big, so when people are looking to it, and reach it, it looks different to each individual. Exclusivists, those that say their path is the only one, imagine the mountain has a fence, and a gate to only one, fenced path. Pluralists think it's a free for all. Inclusivists like me think Christ has cleared one path, without any barriers, but some people want or need to go another way and it's just as legitimate, just maybe not as easy.

Terrible drawing of exclusivism

Terrible drawing of inclusivism

Terrible drawing of pluralism

I feel like the perception that is most pervasive among both religious and non-religious folks is that all religion is inherently exclusivist, and that doesn't sit right with most people in modern western first world culture, AND a lot of people in cultures of eastern religion (eastern theological thought is often a lot more pluralistic). I want to share the good news that it isn't like that! God is vastly more complex and loving than to have a boxed in, one-size-fits-all relationship with humankind, when humankind is beautifully and wonderfully made intrinsically varied and diverse. God has created each us as a unique soul so why would God need uniformity in our relationships with God?

The heart of my faith is a trust in God. Some people have trust issues; their relationship to God looks very different to mine. I rejoice with anyone who has a relationship to God and want to invite others to see the glory of serving the Creator who is at the heart of the world. But I don't want to tell them they have to trust God, or follow Christ, or anything other than what Jesus summed up as the only universal truth that everyone can take to heart is 'love God, love neighbour'. Everything else is up for debate, including what that looks like in different people's lives.

I feel the only evil we have to overcome is human evil, and the how and why are right there in the Great Commandment. I don't like overuse of 'evil' as a concept, which links to the terrible messages most people are getting about religion. I am religious because I want to see a better world, and following God in my way gives me the tools and strength to do my part in bringing about that better world. It's not a dogmatic as 'do what God says and you will receive the kingdom of heaven'. More like 'form a relationship with God and seek the ways of love that bring about the kingdom of heaven on earth'. The Word, and Love, are huge, world-encompassing aspects of the vastly greater reality of God, and for me, they are the aspects on which my trust hangs as the heart of my faith, and the aspects I feel called to express and bring people to, in their own way, by the grace of God partly working through me.

Answering some questions

These questions came out of the vocations day I attended a few weeks ago, and I'm finally getting around to trying to answer them.

• Am I willing to submit to God's will if it's not ordination?

Ultimately yes, but emotionally it would be very challenging to process that I had misinterpreted what I feel as a calling to ordained ministry. Intellectually, I trust God and want to do God's will, so the path via which I'm meant to do that will be the right one. I know that, but it was take a long time to accept if the path is not the one I thought it was, a time of confusion, self-reflection, and a sort of grief I think. I'm looking forward to being ordained, so it was would be sad not to be; but I would hope that with the revelation that I am not called to ordination would come a joint revelation of what I am actually called to, as God has always worked in my life in the form of opportunities at the right moment.

• What is my leadership style?

Embryonic. I'm still very much working on my leadership skills. The confidence to lead I have naturally, but the finesse of a style eludes me. What I do in leadership roles is geared around enthusiasm, attention to clarity and detail, and thoroughness. I can be quite good at anticipating issues and planning accordingly. I'm better at planning and executing a plan than I am at thinking on my feet. I know from feedback that I need to work on my personnel interactions as I can lack subtlety and diplomacy sometimes - I find it hard to 'play the game'.

• What is my heart's desire?

Making the most of life

Expressing and facilitating love

To be good and right, to understand

To support passions, and facilitate understanding

To help inspire God's people to worship and to love

• What are my motivations?

Morality. Love. Thorough understanding.

• How has God used me already?

I suppose in the usual ways as an example for people to see a Christian try and live a good life and not use their religion as a weapon, or a defence, or blackmail, or an alibi; I provide conversation, companionship, advice, comfort etc in some people's lives; I am helping a church community that does great social justice, support, and a sensible evangelism.

• What is the way God calls me?

OPPORTUNITY. I am shown the right step at the right time, it all fits into place and only looking back do I see the pattern. Since I realised I believed in Christ and wanted to follow him, I'm always had a sense that it was important, and that included a vague instinct that I would go into the church some day. That instinct grew into a certainty, then a background niggle, and at the right time it sprang to the forefront of my mind as a necessity. Over the years, the priority of my faith has grown stronger but never too strong within the context of my life within each stage.

• What is the Gospel to me?

A story with a nuanced and deep message of love, forgiveness, a harmony of inner and outer truth, and a call to enter into relationship with God at the heart of the universe. It is the starting point from which we can branch out in all humanity's glorious diversity in understanding the world, and a form of truth (ie a story) which unites us in the core truths we all share.

• How do I know when it is God talking?

After the fact by seeing the consequences of following a course of action.

• What is the church here for?

To be a space for humanity to concentrate on the spiritual, but also the place where they experience God to centre the rest of their life around God. That includes discussion, debate, worship and ritual, song and dance, and creating a community that takes common goals and together go out in the world and achieve them. The church should be a reminder to return to the priorities of love, kindness, and interdependence. The church facilitates the development of relationships with God, with tools, encouragement, and wisdom.

Video: In silence with Love