What does a lay person want out of a priest?

So this post comes as part of my response to the Criteria, details here. As I said in that blog post, I want a list of what I think makes a good priest whilst I still write from the perspective of a lay person, so that I won't forget, or dismiss it as I go further down the path looking at it from the Church's point of view.

These are the characteristics I think are expected in a priest. But let's be clear that this does not mean I assume they will always be met. Laity should never hold priests up against a scale of perfection, as they are flawed human beings as well.

Decency
The first attribute that comes to mind is I want to know a priest is a good person. Not a perfect person but it should be a defining characteristic that they are a positive force in the world. I want to be be able to be confident that a priest has good intentions, never dominated by anything selfish or destructive.

Being wise doesn't need an armchair
but is does help the image!

Wisdom
This one's an odd one, but I have to admit that there is an expectation that a priest is a resource for
perspective, comfort and guidance. It is a lot to ask, but it comes with the position of authority within a spiritual context. I don't mean I think they should have all the answers. But there is an assumed level of knowledge of the wisdom of generations before us - ie. Church tradition and philosophy - that should influence their reactions and contributions.

Effort and reliability
Now, I don't want this to be a paragraph about self-sacrifice, but I think a priest needs to put the effort in. They have to try. Laity should be able to rely on the clergy to put effort in where others might give into the temptation not to, and sometimes that will include going the extra mile. It's not the same as other jobs where you can get away with 'doing the minimum'; it doesn't work like that. Clergy are human beings, they have a right to down time, and a personal life, but that has to come with an understanding that you can't be off the clock - you're never again be not ordained.

Being there
Again a bit odd, but when I say I think part of being priest is just being there, I mean exactly that. I suppose it ties in with the previous paragraph. There's an element of presence, a go-to place that is accessible. It's like when I set up my uni's first LGBT+ society - we didn't actually do much the two years I was running it, but constant feedback was an appreciation that it was there at all.

Be approachable, but maybe not as
creepy as Buddy Christ here.

Approach-ability
I started going to church on a regular basis whilst travelling, and a classic part of visiting a new church on a Sunday morning is being able to go up to the clergy afterwards and have a little chat. It's hard to go up to new people and introduce yourself, to try and engage with a community, but there should be a higher level of comfort going up to a priest, a confidence that they will happy to talk to you, interested in why you're there, and maybe even a gateway into being introduced to regulars, lay congregation members who are less intimidating once the priest has broken through that barrier for you.
And just branching out, it's the same for clergy who aren't parish priests. Chaplains, missionaries, 'pioneer ministers', deacons, cathedral staff, bishops even, teachers, diocese staff - there is a responsibility that goes with being ordained, in whatever capacity you operate in, to be open to engaging with those who approach. Basically, you have a lot less leeway before you are being rude or flaky.

Patience and tolerance
Priests minster to people, and people come in all sorts of varieties, and many are not all that great. Humanity can be dull, irritating, rude, opinionated, loud, obnoxious, snooty, the list goes on and on. The key is not having to somehow achieve a truly open heart and manage never to be irritated or bored etc; priests are people and sometimes people rub each other the wrong way. No, having more genuine tolerance is helpful to be fair, but patience is basically exercising tolerance, even if it's not there. Priest can't act intolerant, whether or not they are finding it difficult to tolerate somebody. Embodying the calling of expressing Christ's good news means having the patience to tolerate the intolerable. And to quote my rector, this doesn't mean rolling over and being a doormat. Some situations need a firm response - the point I'm trying to articulate is that response should never be a harsh/obvious rejection. Am I making sense?

Non-judgement
Once more this links in, especially with tolerance. As laity, I would really like to be able to tell my priest anything and not be judged for it. Yes, sometimes I am looking for their opinion, but I want to have to ask for a decision on a point of morality, rather than having a moral judgement passed on what I've told them automatically. And I certainly expect a priest to not let any judgements they have about me/my behaviour influence how they treat me.

Okay, that's a nice Jewish seven, so I'll leave it at those key elements.